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- The Relationship System
Eight years ago, I led a book launch for a CEO whose approach to relationships still shapes how I think today.
What stood out wasn’t just his writing or publicity—it was how he organized his network. Thoughtfully. Strategically. Every contact was tagged by category, each tied to a specific kind of ask:
Enterprise: Who could bring him in to speak at their company
PR: Who might feature him in a podcast or article
Book Support: Who could preorder and leave a review on launch day
I saw firsthand how mobilizing the right relationships at the right time creates real momentum. Fittingly, the book was about developing the right idea at the right time.
Since then, one principle has become clear: you are only as effective as your ability to stay in motion with the people who matter.
So I’ve broken down the system I’ve used—one that reflects the trajectory of your life, not just your business.
A framework to help you stay in touch, follow up, and follow through—with clarity and intention.
Let’s dive in.
1. Design a Relationship Roadmap
Ask yourself: Who do I want in my life five years from now—personally and professionally?
Then reverse engineer your proximity.
Do you want mentors, peers, investors, creative allies, grounded friends, travel companions, or emotional guides?
Build your calendar—and your energy—around the people who pull you toward your future.
A friend said something at breakfast recently that stuck with me:
“When I think about vacations and future friendships, I want one friend with a ski house, another with a beach villa, and someone with a European castle. That way we can house-swap and share.”
Dreamy? Definitely. But also intentional.
Relational clarity fuels life clarity.
Your network should reflect your next chapter—not your last one.
2. Relationships Are Like Gardens, Not Pipelines
They need attention, not pressure.
A quick text.
A shared article that made you think of them.
A simple “thinking of you” email.
These micro-touchpoints compound. They show you’re paying attention—without asking for anything in return.
Ask yourself: Who have I lost contact with—not because of a conflict, but because of drift?
Start there.
3. Follow-Up Is the Superpower of the Consistent
Most people never send the follow-up note.
They assume silence means disinterest.
But real relationship-builders—and elite sales leaders—don’t wait.
They clarify. Reconnect. Stay pleasantly persistent.
Here’s my framework:
After a meaningful conversation, I ask great questions and really listen.
Then, within 24 hours, I try to make an intro where 1 + 1 = 3.
The best intros aren’t favors.
They help both people solve their own problems faster.
After that?
I give the connection space—or I follow up 6 more times.
Whatever it takes.
4. Follow-Through Builds Your Reputation
Reputation isn’t built in the spotlight.
It’s earned in the quiet moments—
When you say one thing in the meeting, then actually do it.
That’s rare.
Send the deck after the call.
Show up on time.
Follow up with a thoughtful, personalized note.
Ask about something they didn’t expect you to remember.
You don’t need to be everywhere.
But reliability compounds.
And that’s what makes you stand out.
5. Use a Relationship Tracker, Not Just a CRM
Most entrepreneurs track money better than people.
But sometimes, when you track people, you make more money.
So, Flip it. Use a tool—Relatable.one, Notion, Airtable, spreadsheet—to tag and sort by:
Warm Leads
Advisors
Past Clients
Collaborators
Champions
Tag by energy and intention—not just opportunity.
6. Visibility Compounds—If You Stay in Motion
Showing up doesn’t mean becoming a content machine.
It can be a short video.
A monthly email.
A quarterly update.
It’s not about going viral.
It’s about being consistent, thoughtful, effective—and memorable.
I’ve been helping a friend with their content for six months.
For the first five? Slow.
But this past month, the business started rolling in.
Why?
Consistent? Yes
Visible? Yes
Thoughtful and credible? Yes
Six months of steady effort—and now we’re seeing the power of digital leverage.
7. So Why Build a Brand?
Many people say: “my brand is my work, my actions, how I show up.”
True. But without visibility, your story never scales.
Without a clear message, the right people never see what you can do.
And without content and consistency, you miss the moments when dollars (and impact) follow attention.
Great brands aren’t just built. They’re amplified.
8. Let Some Relationships Expire
Not all relationships are meant to be permanent.
You’ll outgrow some. Some will outgrow you. Others will fade naturally—and that’s okay. The goal isn’t to keep everyone in your orbit forever. It’s to honor the ones that evolve with you.
How to do this? When you see a name on your calendar, online in the ether, or someone come up on your phone and you get a “meh” feeling . . . let it go!
THIS WEEK’S 3-2-1 CHALLENGE:
Pick 3 people you have not spoken to in 90 days and ask to get together
Send 2 thoughtful follow up meetings emails to make someone feel seen and heard
Make 1 thoughtful and spontaneous introduction
Community Notes:
Carole Robin, who got the nickname “Ms. Touchy-Feely”, teaching at Stanford, came on our podcast, to discuss connection and relationships. Listen!
We finished a newly minted brand website for Rohit Bhargava. Check it out.
Have you tried our personal brand audit? It’s awesome.
Mike Lloyd’s Great Question Newsletter makes you think! Big fan!
If you love awesome Founder Content, that is refreshing, intellectually stimulating, look no further than Founders In Arms
Join Us on August 21 to position yourself for a board seat and learn about forming a board. 40+ people have already signed up!
Part I: Executive Roundtable with Bob Arciniaga & Marie Holive (40 mins)
Whether you're looking to land your first board seat or refine your impact in the room, join this exclusive conversation with two of the foremost experts in modern board leadership.
Bob Arciniaga—founder of Advisory Board Architects—has helped over 500 organizations architect, evaluate, and scale their boards for long-term value creation.
Marie Holive brings a powerful perspective as a sitting board member, former NBCUniversal Intl Networks CEO/CFO, and global executive coach helping leaders unlock board potential.
Together, they’ll share a practical and strategic roadmap for individuals and companies navigating today’s evolving governance landscape.
Topics Covered:
1. Forming & Evaluating Boards That Work
What separates a functional board from a transformative one? Learn how top companies design boards that drive strategy, innovation, and accountability.
2. Positioning Yourself for Board Opportunities
From narrative and network to value proposition—discover what it really takes to stand out and secure the right board seat.
3. How to Be a Great Board Member
Beyond titles and talk tracks—get tactical insights on listening, contributing, and creating measurable value in the boardroom.
Part II: Q&A (20 Mins)
