Your Self Worth & Your Professional Identity

“What would happen if you fully disassociated yourself from your professional identity?”

That’s what my coach Jonathan Bunten asked me just before we launched Arcbound's evolved brand.

It was an eerily pointed question—one that had been hanging out on the periphery of my mind for years but that I’d never truly let myself consider. How could I accomplish all I wanted if I wasn’t one with what I was building? 

A few hours later, I visited my structural integrator (also known as Rolfing) I’ve been seeing to overcome an injury the past year. For those who don’t know, Rolfing works the deep fascia to help get the body in line, releasing a lot of emotions along the way. It’s highly intuitive work and probably what I’m going to do in my next life.

Part of the session included laser therapy targeting my parasympathetic nervous system to help reduce stress. And then came what I can only describe as a “thaw"—a release that created space for Jonathan's question to really seep in. I remember coming home that Friday night, exhausted. I lay on my bed and felt my chest break open, the tension that had  been there for almost two years finally shattering.

The Uncomfortable Truth

The past few weeks, I've been exploring what you might call "detachment” from my work and it hasn't come without hard realizations.

I've let Arcbound control both my identity and self-worth for years. I've been driven by unconscious behaviors to prove myself and seek external validation—despite having an internal purpose to support others from the start.

I can see how tying my identity so tightly to professional performance has hurt our culture at times, led to fear-based decisions, and driven me to "tell" the world who I am rather than show up through my actions.

The Rewiring Process

Admitting this to myself was step one. Daily journaling around my awareness of these patterns, where I glean internal validation, has been step two. The third step? Fully trusting and rewiring how I show up day to day with strong awareness of who I am and who I want to be.

I've seen progress with daily intentionality, but there's still much work to do in this new way of being.

Think of it like untangling Christmas lights—you can see the mess, but the careful work of separating each strand takes patience and presence, and self compassion, for seeing your actions of the past.

If you’re experiencing something similar, the insights I’ve come across might help. 

Questions Worth Exploring

All these came from Jonathan (hire him), and they're uncomfortable but worthwhile:

1. What would happen if you fully disassociated your personal and professional from your identities?

2. How would you measure your worth?

3. What would you draw on internally to validate yourself

Resources for Your Journey

The books, body techniques, and people below have been game-changers in helping me separate my internal worth from external performance. They've taught me to find validation from within rather than constantly seeking it outside myself.

Books:

• The Untethered Soul is teaching me I'm not the voice in my head; I'm the observer listening to it. A guide to recognizing the difference between who you think you are and who you actually are at your core.

• Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It has given me a lot of insight into how to do the work on my own. 

• The Surrender Experiment is starting to show me what's possible when you stop controlling outcomes and trust life's flow, even when it looks nothing like what you planned.

Body Techniques:

• ROLFING: This deep fascial work taught me that emotional patterns literally live in our tissues—releasing physical tension can unlock psychological breakthroughs you never saw coming.

• Pilates: Beyond building core strength, it's moving meditation that connects mind and body through intentional movement and breath in ways pure mental work never could.

People:

Look for people who can help you find your internal drivers and insights, separate and apart from your work. Mine are Jonathan Bunten and Rich Keller (do his One Word program), both of whom ask the uncomfortable questions that create breakthrough moments.

Remember, the most meaningful connections—whether with others or ourselves—require us to strip back the layers and get to what's real underneath.

What patterns are you ready to examine in your own life?

Mark Your Calendars: June 20, at 10 AM PT / 1 PM ET  . . . Webinar with Case Kenny and Reading Rhythms: 

What if your worth had nothing to do with your job, your relationship, or your output? Join podcast host and global thought leader Case Kenny for a candid conversation on identity, self-worth, and becoming unbothered. You’ll walk away with a clearer sense of who you are—and how to show up that way in life, love, and work.

+ We will be joined by Ben Bradbury at Reading Rhythms for a great roundtable chat, live Q&A, and good community in every form.

Community Notes:

1. Listen to an inspiring episode with Robert Gorin on communication that details how he shows up for his son and in his life. Robert is one of the most incredible people I’ve ever met, and it’s truly special to see how Robert cares for himself and everyone around him.

2. Check out Nir Eyal’s, (author of Hooked and Indistractable) latest article on internal and external validation.

3. My new friend Nichol Bradford, is hosting an awesome conference in SF June 17–19 with some amazing speakers and content topics. Check out Human + Tech Week 2025.